Brothers and Sisters

Dear Ruby,

There will be many days you will doubt your brother's love for you. I could share some stories about your Aunt Lisa and how she loved to hide in my closet at night or pretend that she wasn't really my sister because the aliens had come and taken my real sister...yes, many days where I didn't feel that "sisterly love". But when the chips were down, she was there. She's my sister and of course she loves me. She has to:)

Your brother doesn't quite understand how to play with you just yet and it is hard for him to tell you how much he loves you. You on the other hand, are relentless in your pursuit to make him your best friend. You keep trying. You never give up. It's beautiful to watch you, your heart so pure, so open and forgiving. It's easy to see how much you love him.

Last week, Porter did something that proved how he feels about you. I was at work finishing up some reports and you had just woken up from a lovely nap. Daddy was busy in the kitchen and didn't hear you crying...but Porter did. He ran to the kitchen and grabbed Daddy's hand and brought him to your room.

He loves you. You are his little sister. He has to:)

Miss Ruby turns 2!

So our Miss Ruby turned 2 on Oct 10th. We celebrated with family last weekend on Thanksgiving Monday which was the same day our little turkey was born. Wait, how did that happen on the calendar? Hmmm...must google that later.

I decided to actually pick a theme, other than my usual Dollarama themed party:) Ruby is a huge fan of the Backyardigans and the Bubble Guppies so we went to the Internet to see what we could find and ended up finding a great deal on Backyardigan party supplies.  Decision made!

Then I got to work making this cake:

Hahaha! Who am I kidding, I ordered it! Isn't it adorable? ( Tara's Cake Creations on Facebook if anyone is ever looking...)



Ruby arrived with Nana and Pepe who picked up both kids earlier that day so we could get the house ready.  Because let's face it.....

But I digress....



                         As I was saying, Ruby arrived with big brother Porter ready for a party!

Thanks Nana and Pepe for the adorable dress! She tried to put a barrette in her hair too but Ruby doesn't quite have enough hair to hold one in just yet:)


Ruby's eye went right to Pablo who came for the party! (p.s. she has been dragging this balloon around the house ever since. It even had to sleep on the floor next to her with it's own blanket and pillow the first two nights!)

           She loved having a room full of people she loves. Here are a few pics from the party:

                                        Happy Birthday sweet Ruby. I love you noes to toes. xo

New Learning Story!

I have shared a few of these before, I can't say enough about how much I love getting them ! Porter LOVES to scoop and pour just about anything! Honestly, he would sit and transfer water from cup to cup forever if we let him! He just loves watching it fall, I think he finds it very soothing.

This learning story shows him pouring a cupful of rocks down a slide, not surprisingly, one of his favorite activities when he is outside!

So happy that our boy LOVES his preschool! We can't believe he only has one more year left before he goes to big boy school! 

PSEUDOCHOLINESTERASE DEFICIENCY

So I don't make it a habit to post my personal medical history but I'm going to make an exception today. I just have a gut feeling this should be documented for future reference for myself and Porter and Ruby.

So most of you that read this blog know that I had a hernia repaired earlier this year. When I was pregnant with my giant beautiful baby Porter, he stretched my stomach muscles apart and unfortunately they did not go back together after he came out in May 2009. This caused a hernia that got worse over time. I had to wait until after Ruby was born to get the surgery to repair it ( as it would only get worse with each pregnancy) . I then had to find someone that was willing to do it and long story short, it was finally repaired in January of this year. Everything went well and I was super pleased with the results.

Shockingly, my muscles were very weak and it started to slowly come back out.  ( Yes, that is sarcasm). Anyway, I was on a waiting list to have it repaired again, this time they would put in a mesh to reinforce it .  I got a call last week, there was a cancellation and I could have my surgery Friday Aug 16th, which worked out perfectly, I wouldn't need to take any time off of work!

So fast forward to surgery day. I was scheduled to go in at 1pm. It's 1:15 and I'm still waiting and ready to eat my johnny shirt since I hadn't eaten since 8pm the night before. They tell me that my doctor is running behind and there is a possibility of it being cancelled. I'm super happy about that as you can imagine, but after fuming silently to myself for a few minutes,  I decide that if it gets cancelled there must be a reason...and to trust that it will all work out.

Shortly after 2pm my doctor appears, draws some lines on my lovely bulge and we're off to the races! Now here is where the story gets interesting...I remember waking up, well sort of, after the surgery and having someone yell at me. Then someone grabs my chin and I don't remember much else until a little later. Apparently they took my breathing tube out and realized that I could not breathe on my own, so they had to shoot me up with more anesthetic to put a breathing tube back down my throat. This anesthetic paralyzes you, every bit of you, including your lungs.

 I don't know exactly how much longer after they administered the second round of anesthetic, but I estimate it was between 4 and 5 pm  that I am fully and completely awake but unable to move any part of my body. A machine is breathing for me but it is not enough! Or it certainly does not feel like it is enough. I count 6 seconds and I get the tiniest burst of air.  I count again 1, 2, 3 , 4 , 5, 6 ...puff...there it comes. BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH! IT'S NOT ENOUGH!! I CAN'T BREATHE! I CAN'T BREATHE!! (Sorry for all the yelling, but caps lock doesn't even begin to express the panic that is going on in my head !! ) I am trying with all my might to move any part of my body. Nothing.

Then I start to think. "Oh my God, I'm dead..is this death?" Am I stuck in pergatory? In my head I am saying "Mom, Dad if you are here...help me! HELP ME!!!!!!" Nobody appears so I start praying and telling God that I need to be on this Earth and He needs to help me move my body so I can tell someone that I cannot breathe ! I'm not sure how much time passes, I hear the nurse calling my name and speaking to the other nurse " I've given her another sedative but she is still not sleeping". OF COURSE I CAN'T SLEEP!!! Honestly, as I type this,  my heart is pounding just thinking of the terror I felt. Then I hear Mark, he is there. He is asking how long I will be like this. They suspect it will be most of the night and tell him to go and come back in the morning. Just when I think I cannot panic anymore, it gets worse. I am screaming in my head but nothing is coming out. I am trying to communicate telepathically to Mark but it's not working. Mark said he left around 7pm. All I can think is there is no way I will survive the whole night like this. The little bursts of air I am getting surely can't be enough to keep me alive all night. I will die. Or I will get brain damage. And there is nothing I can do but sit here and wait.

Then some time after, a glimmer of hope, I can move my tongue. But just a little. I start moving it in and out which in hindsight must have looked ridiculous. Like a lizard or something. But in my head I think, ok, if they see me moving my tongue like this they will realize I am in distress and give me more air!  A nurse comes in and I try so hard to move and I think my hand twitched. She calls another nurse and and says "perhaps we should give her another sedative, I don't like this twitching". Then more panic sets in, because I have no idea why I am paralyzed so in my head, maybe it is the sedative? So I stop. No more lizard tongue. I wait. I panic and wait. I talk to God. I think of Porter and Ruby and Mark. I pray. I am crying in my head but there are no tears. I count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 puff.

Then finally at 9:45 pm , I can move my arm. The nurse comes in. I can't open my eyes or do anything else but I can move my right arm. I motion that I need a pen to write down something. She gets a pad and I write down that I can't breathe. She calls another nurse in and I write it again, I can't breathe, take this tube out! She gets the doctor and thank God, they take it out. I cough up a whack of phlegm and then there it is...sweet glorious AIR! I can breathe, I can breathe! They put an oxygen mask on my face and more AIR! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Then slowly my body starts to wake up, my eyes are still shut but I can feel my feet and eventually everything. I cry, I hold back the ugly cry.  I can't describe how grateful I am.

I have the mask on and my eyes are still shut but I feel the need to keep writing on that pad. I tell them that I thought I was dying and that I am so grateful to be alive. They explain what they think happened. It's called pseudocholinestrase deficiency. I have read a few different websites but this one sums it up well.

http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/pseudocholinesterase-deficiency

I am getting bloodwork to confirm that this is indeed what I have but it is also hereditary so I just felt I should post it here. We will have Ruby and Porter checked as well, but even if it comes back negative for them, I want this to be in print so they can be aware that this could happen in their future, after all, I have had surgeries before and have never had a reaction like this??

I also read on a different website that someone with this deficiency should never use cocaine as they could go into cardiac arrest. PORTER AND RUBY, I pray that you will have the wisdom to never try such a dangerous drug, or any drug for that matter, but PLEASE do not risk your life!

I also can't help but think that this may be a piece of the puzzle in understanding Porter's autism. If you are deficient in this enzyme you cannot break down certain toxins well. There is an abundance of research that suggests that people with autism have more toxins in their body, they are unable to get rid of them like the typical person. This enzyme is also believed to be involved with nerve signals. NERVE SIGNALS! There are some wires that are not connected properly in Porter's brain. They stop him from speaking.  Could this be part of the reason?

Anyway, I will get the results of the test and then go from there. I believe everything happens for a reason. I hope this day of terror will turn into something that can help my boy.

Now, take a deep breath...you feel that? That is air running through your lungs. Be grateful. 

Remembering Dad

This will appear in the Journal today. I thought I would share it here as well. Dad would have been so proud. Thank you sweet Norma for your beautiful words and more importantly , your beautiful heart that loved my Dad so very much. We are eternally grateful for the joy you brought to his life! xo

                               ~ARSENAULT~                     

                          JOSEPH RAYMOND “Ray” ARSENAULT

                  July 28, 1948 – July 17, 2012

Without a good-bye to those he loved, or to those who loved him, Joseph Raymond “Ray” Arsenault, Charlottetown, departed this world on July 17, 2012.  Taken by a massive heart attack just eleven days prior to his 64^th birthday, Ray was born on July 28, 1948 in Summerside, PEI to Melvin and Lorraine (Richard) Arsenault of Borden, PEI.  He was the oldest of seven children (Robert, LeRoy, John Mark, Garth, Gail, and Roger).  Ray was predeceased by his father, Melvin, and his brother, Robert.

Ray received his education at Borden and Prince County Vocational High School prior to entering the Royal Canadian Navy in April, 1965.  He served with the Navy for 25 years, taking early discharge in April 1990.  During his naval career, he was based out of CFB Halifax, where he served as a marine engineer aboard such combatant ships as HMCS Saguenay and HMCS Fraser.   Following retirement from the Navy, Ray instructed Fire and Flood Courses for the military – a job he held for five years.  During that time, he returned to PEI to take up residence.  In 1996, he commenced employment with the Charlottetown Airport Authority, where he diligently served as Core Commissioner until several hours before his passing.  In that capacity, he thoroughly enjoyed meeting the travelling public.

In 1970, Ray married Marlene MacNeill, who blessed him with two beautiful daughters, Lisa and Raelene (Mark Richard).  Ray and Marlene eventually chose different paths, but, always, “his girls” remained close at heart.  They, together with his four grandchildren (Tyler, Mackenzie, Porter and Ruby) were, truly, what brought a smile to his face.  Making weekly trips to Summerside to visit them; showing off their photos; remembering their special occasions; attending Tyler and Mackenzie’s special functions (hockey, soccer, gymnastics and graduations); engaging in floor play with little Porter; and trying to bring a smile to little Ruby (with whom he had but nine short months) brought “Grampie” much joy.

While Ray will be remembered by family and friends in many different ways, perhaps his greatest legacy will be the example he set through his countless random acts of kindness.  Never seeking recognition, Ray, in his quiet and unassuming way, was often silently finding ways to offer a helpful hand or to do a kind deed, whether it was saving his change each day for a charity, or buying an extra lobster to share with an elderly neighbor.  His family has been touched by the many stories relayed about his kind gestures.  To quote one of his co-workers:  “That man had a heart of gold.” 

Ray was, for the most part, a reserved and quiet man but for those of us who knew him well, we witnessed his “playful and wilder” side.  He delighted in seeing people stare, or making comments, about the red laces in his white sneakers; and in trying to pull a “fast one” on Graham; or in proclaiming himself as “Number One” to his siblings and his Commissioner buddies!   Ray suffered from a “love of cars” – always sporting a meticulously clean car that matched his meticulous attire.  His Chrysler “300” was his final love, and Reliable Motors parking lot must sense the loss of his almost daily visits.

Ray possessed many attributes, skills and abilities. He was conscientious, and a person whose work ethics were of high standards.  He had a remarkable ability to pay attention to detail, and was very meticulous.   Ray was a person who could put his hand to most anything – from woodworking, to fixing something mechanical, to making a meal.  He enjoyed Sudoko puzzles – the more challenging the puzzle, the more enjoyment he received.   He also delighted in “chilling out” and listening to “tunes”.  Ray, together with his partner of nine years, (Norma Yeo-Malone), particularly enjoyed theatre, concerts, dining out and going for drives/outings.  They especially loved “almost nightly” visits to his Mother’s for a game of dominoes, a game he had grown to love.

Although taken from us before we were ready, we are grateful for the memories he helped us create.  They are now our treasured keepsakes, and we ask, Dear Lord, that you treasure him. His largely attended funeral was held from St. Peter’s Church, in Seven Mile Bay, with Father Doug MacDonald officiating.  Interment took place in St. Peter’s Cemetery.

Lovingly remembered,
Raelene, Lisa, Lorraine, Norma and Families

We, the family of “Ray” Arsenault would like to thank the first responders; Moase Funeral Home; Graham MacPhail; Brad MacLennan; the many who attended Ray’s wake and funeral; Anne and Willard Leard (for offering their home between wakes); those who brought food, sent flowers, made mass offerings, and gave  donations to The Autism Society of PEI.  Special thanks to Father Doug MacDonald; the organist and choir; the readers, pallbearers and flowerbearers; and the CWL for catering to the reception following the funeral.   Your kindness and support were most appreciated.

East Point Family Trip!

Yikes, I almost forgot my password when I signed in here to write this post. It has been shamefully long since my last post.

 I could rhyme off a list of reasons why I haven't posted....but I won't bore you. Instead I'll share some pics of our very first ever family vacation. We decided not to venture too far.  Let's be real, it can be hard enough to get through the day here in our own home with access to almost everything we need, let alone in a new environment with only what we could fit in our trunk. And boy did we stuff that trunk! Mark's parents offered us their SUV and in hindsight, we should have taken them up on their offer....but I digress. 

Our destination was East Point! We rented a sweet little cottage for three nights. I figured 3 nights would be a good test run and we were lucky to get off season rates because we booked it for the very last weekend in June. We left late afternoon on Friday and arrived just after supper. It was absolutely worth the trip to see how excited they were when we got inside. They ran in and explored every room. The biggest hit?  A butter dish filled with Crokinole chips! Of course! Porter must have emptied and refilled that dish at least 25 times all the while squealing with delight. It was pouring rain outside so we spent the first night inside playing with Crokinole chips, clothespins and watching Bubble Guppies on the laptop. I know what you're thinking, boy do we know how to party! That night, I went to bed with that peaceful easy feeling that you get when you are staying in a place where you can hear the ocean from your room and there are needle point decorations on the walls!

That feeling was about to change. We brought Porter's new bed tent ( yes, he has a brand new tent for his new big boy bed!) but there still wasn't a whole lot of sleep that night. Ruby woke up twice and Porter was up for the day at 4am. I guess he just couldn't wait to get his hands on those Crokinole chips! The next night was even worse. Ruby woke up at 12:30 and we thought we would give her a minute in case she went back to sleep. Bad idea, BAD idea! Porter woke up and thought it was morning. I believe it was around 3 am when I had visions of packing everything up and flying the H. E. Double hockey sticks home. But we didn't. It was around 5:30am when he finally went back to sleep. I could yawn just thinking about it.


But besides being dreadfully sleepy, we did have a lot of fun. The weather cleared up and we got to the beach Saturday and Sunday. They were originally calling for rain so we were pretty pumped about being able to get outside at all. We had access to our very own private beach, there was just one other family sharing it with us that weekend. Porter loved it! He could run for miles and had a blast playing in the sand ! 

                                      I can't decide who had more fun playing in this hole... Porter or Mark?

Ruby, on the other hand wasn't a huge fan of the sand...this picture sums up how she felt about the beach.

She did enjoy sharing some cuddle time with Daddy on this community beach chair...

It was beautiful and we really did have a lovely time, but after three nights we were ready to come home. We were really just running out of things to do. We went to two different parks, the beach and we even hit up the East Point Lighthouse which was an adventure in itself! Have you ever climbed the stairs inside a lighthouse? STEEP!  I was never so glad to get out of a building in all my life! Did I mention I worry a lot? Yeah, that trip up those stairs with a 4 yr old and a 21 month old probably aged me 5 years. I am mostly kidding, but not completely. I did make sure we got a quick picture, but honestly we stayed at the top for as long as it took to click this pic ! 

 

Overall, first ever Richard family vacation was a success! Next time maybe we will actually leave the province? Although you really can't get much better than our Island in the summer:)


Chat soon:)

Update from the Autism Sibling Study!

Here I am posting twice in the same week...that hasn't happened in awhile.

 I really can't explain why this blog has taken such a back seat lately, but my best guess is that it has a lot to do with the longer daylight hours ( which I LOVE so I'm not complaining ) . Bedtime for the kids has been later and later...which leaves less and less free time for Mama and Papa.

 BUT I have been meaning to share some news. Last month we took Miss Ruby for her 18 month check-up at the IWK. For anyone who doesn't know, Ruby is part of an Autism Sibling Study and we go for regular check-ups to see if she is showing any signs of autism.

It feels unsettling in some way to celebrate the fact that she is isn't showing any signs at all ( that is not the right word but I can't think of the perfect word to describe what it is we feel) . I guess it feels wrong in some strange way to be so very relieved that she isn't displaying any behavior that would be considered "autistic", like her big brother....does that make sense?

Anyway, that's a post for another day!

Back to our little trip!

Ruby was a great traveler. She enjoys the car , not quite as much as her brother, but if you give her snacks and some fun car tunes, she is good to go!

We arrived in Halifax before lunch so we could meet up with my Uncle Brian for lunch. I hope he doesn't mind me sharing his picture! We had a short, but lovely visit, which I'm sure my witty Uncle would say was all he could stand!

 After lunch we headed to the IWK Health Centre to the Autism Research Dept. This is our third visit so when we arrived, they knew us by name and seemed genuinely happy to see us!

And well, I don't like to brag, but they were quite impressed by our girl! This visit consisted of a parent interview and "playtime".  I say "playtime" in quotes, because all the activities were very much planned and organized but cleverly disguised as "playtime" so Ruby would be interested! There were tons of different activities, but let me share an example.  The researcher, Terry, would take a toy car and do what most toddlers do...drive it around the table and make "vroom, vroom" noises. Then she would hand the car to Ruby and see what she would do. Our Ruby is a master imitator ! She could vroom, vroom like nobody's business! Imitating is one area where children with autism can really struggle. And if you think about that for a second, you realize why language can be so difficult to learn for children with autism as well. Many children with autism simply do not imitate naturally...which is basically how we learn to talk!

But we are quite certain that talking will not be a challenge for our Miss Ruby. She has been talking up a storm around here. Her favorite word is NO, but it is quite funny how she says it when she really means business...she drags it out so it sounds a bit like a cat " Neeeeeooooooooooooowww"!  Every day she says something new and she is totally putting words together now! It is bittersweet to see her "pass" her brother. But I do know that she will be one of his best teachers. I can see it already.

Have a great weekend everyone! Bundle up, it's freezing out there!

Happy Mother's Day!

Mother's day can bring me a mixed bag of emotions.....

This special little gift brought me pure joy!



Happy Mother's Day Everyone!

"Today you are You"

 I remember when I was pregnant with Porter and I became strangely obsessed with reading about autism ( yep, that is crazy but true). I remember thinking how hard it would be to have a child with autism and I remember asking God to spare me from such an outcome. I'm ashamed to write that, but it is my truth. Even now, if you google "autism" you can still find definitions that include words like    " devastating developmental disorder".

Devastating? Really?


 I can't speak for all parents of children with autism, because it is different for each and every one of us. And I'm not saying that there are not days that are beyond HARD or that there are not times that watching him trying to communicate breaks my heart in a way I never thought possible.  And there are still days that I can be overcome with grief for the boy he could be without autism....

But mostly, I am grateful.

I am grateful for this beautiful boy that has simply changed my life in the most beautiful, unexpected way.

Porter has taught me so much about life that I never would have learned if not for him being who he is,  ALL of him. He has a constant light that shines around him. Just spend a few minutes with him, you'll see what I mean. He takes the greatest joy out of the most simple things. A plum, a toy train, a swing, a rubber Goofy doll. These are the things that light up his day.

He continues to remind me to celebrate the small victories in life. They really are the ones that matter. I have found overwhelming feelings of gratitude in the most unexpected places. Like just the other day when Porter said "hi" without me prompting him. It's hard to put into words the joy moments like that give me, joy I would not know if not for the struggles we have faced.

And this boy, he makes me laugh all the time. Like yesterday, he was in the tub and very carefully  trying to put the bubbles back into the baby wash bottle. They kept popping , but he didn't give up....he must have tried with at least 25 bubbles before he simply moved on to something else.

And every now and then he does something so wonderfully odd...like this.

Yes, that is play-doh on top of his nachos. But it's the blankie that kills me, he has it draped around his head with a little piece stuck in his mouth that he chews on as he goes about his "work" of piling things on his plate:)

So very UNtypical. That's my boy:)

(p.s. I know his blankie looks disgusting, but I swear it's clean!)

I could write all day about how much I love this amazing kid and how much he has taught me about life. So I guess my point is, I don't think his autism is "devastating" at all...

I think he is perfectly perfect just as he is.

 Do I want him to be able to communicate better? Of course!

 Do I want him to have a friend to play and explore with as he grows up? Absolutely!

Do I want him to be able to play tag with his sister on a warm Spring day? I dream about it!

Do I want him to be able to have a job and some independence so I can leave this world knowing he will be okay? More than anything.

But do I want to change who he is? This beautiful, magnificient boy who dances to the beat of his own drum?

Never.


Happy World Autism Awareness Day!

Hola!

So here it is almost 6 weeks after my last post! Ahhh! How did I let this happen??? Well, in my defense we all did have a bout of the stomach flu, good times, good times....then it was report card season and then we had to plan our trip to Mexico! ( When I say "we"  I mean Mark and I...we're not brave enough to take the kids..YET)

So was it paradise? Yep. I knew the minute we got there and they greeted us with a glass of champagne before we even checked in that it was going to be a good time! For anyone wondering, we stayed at the Dreams Resort in Tulum, Mexico. I can't say enough about this place. Absolutely magical.

Let me give you a rundown of our days...after sleeping THROUGH THE NIGHT we would awake around 7 each day. It was glorious! Then we would go for breakfast where we could eat whatever we wanted and not have to clean up any mess! And we could sit and talk to each other without anyone needing anything, it was so delightful.

After breakfast we would usually go back to our beautiful room and get ready for the beach. Yes, you could easily go to the beach at 8 am because it was HOT 24 hours a day! Some days Mark went kiteboarding or diving and those days I would just sit on the beach and read a book or people watch. One of the books I read was " Seriously..I'm kidding " by Ellen Degeneres. I found myself in full on fits of laughter all by myself. Not sure why I didn't make any new friends? Hmm. But seriously,  Ellen and I could be best of friends. We really could. Love her.

Then we would decide where to go for lunch, where again, someone else would feed us and clean up our mess! Sometimes we would have an afternoon siesta and then hit up the beach or pool again whilst sipping on drinkie drinks. Ok, anyone wanting to punch me yet?

After spending a leisurely day floating in the water or lounging on beach chairs, we would shower and clean up our sandy selves. Next came the big decision on where to eat dinner . At night we picked the fancier restaurants where we were given top-notch service! I'm talking service where someone pulls out your chair for you and places a napkin on your lap! AND the moment you finish your drink someone magically appears to refill it! Yeah, it was rough.

Then we would try to stay awake for the nightly entertainment which was pretty impressive I must say! We missed the fire show and magic night but saw some pretty amazing dancers!

I can't put into words what a lovely time we had, it really was a beautiful time in a very beautiful place. There were moments I was overcome with my surroundings. You can't help but feel like you are experiencing a little piece of heaven right on Earth.

But there were moments I missed Porter and Ruby so badly it hurt. In fact by Day 4,  I considered asking strangers if I could hold their babies. Just for second, just to smell their little heads. So despite being in paradise,  I was glad to be on our way home the next day. Not only did I get to see my babies, but I came home to a spotless house with dinner in the fridge for the next day. Seriously, these people, TOP SHELF!  We can't thank Nana and Pepe enough for taking care of our little mess makers while we were away. Special thanks to Auntie Robyn for watching Miss Ruby during the afternoons and for giving her extra cuddles and kisses when she wasn't feeling very good.

Here are a few pics from our trip!

                                                       Ahhh, Serenity now....

                                                       Pool with swim up bar

                                                           View from our room

     
Mark was able to get out kiteboarding a couple days, not quite enough wind for him though..

The beach at a place called "Excaret", we spent one full day here ..it was really beautiful.

Excaret had so many different animals and birds to see...when I saw this guy I immediately broke into the Three's Company Theme song...."come and knock on my door"....he he he

                                          
                                                Our last night..I'm happy/sad to leave....

This was Ruby trying on my sunhat the night before we left...you see why I missed home so much? She pulls it off well don't you think?

And I don't have a picture of it, but the day after we got home I was cuddled up with Porter on the couch. He took his finger and ran it on the outline of my cheek. Then he planted his nose right on my cheek and sniffed until I thought he was going to sniff a piece of my cheek right up his nose! This is his new thing, I know it's a little odd, but it is absolutely priceless. I think it's his way of saying he missed me.

Have a great week everyone!

 

Happy Valentine's Day!

The most amazing thing happened today....today of all days.

This morning Mark was eating his cereal at the table and Porter came along touched his back and said " I Wub You". No prompts. He said it ALL by himself.

Happy Valentine's Day indeed.

Silver spoons?

So Porter has a new thing..well, he's been doing it awhile, but a lot more lately.

After he uses a spoon or fork he has been putting it back in the drawer where he got it. A bit disgusting , yes, but I'll admit, when I open the drawer to get a spoon and I find one that has dried up food all over it, it makes me smile from the inside out.

So who's coming for supper?

:)

Pretend Play!

I never imagined a picture of my boy playing with a truck at his preschool would bring me to tears. But sure enough, it did. You see, there was a time not so long ago that Porter would have done nothing but spin the wheels on that truck for as long as you would let him.

And now...da da da da da! ( That sounds better out loud:)

I am so proud I could burst:)

Peek

A - Boo!  This picture is too funny not to share! Thanks Jen:)

Add caption

 

 

 

Nana and Pepe

I remember my friend Crystal telling me that it is no accident that Mark comes from such a great family. She said the good Lord must have known that I was going to need that. My mom passed away 4 months after I met Mark. And after I lost my Dad this past summer, I find myself even more grateful for these beautiful people that I am so honored to call my family.

But today, I want to focus on the heart of that family.  Barb and Rob , also known as Nana and Pepe.

These people continue to amaze me with their incredible hearts.

Let me start with Nana. This lady continues to inspire me with her selflessness. Never have I met anyone so genuinely kind and giving. I don't even know where to begin. She does so many things for us all the time. I wonder if she knows how much they mean? And the best part is she does it all expecting nothing in return, she does it because that is who she is.

 Family holidays and suppers, well, they could be a recipe for disaster.  But nope, Nana always has something on the menu for Porter and Ruby. I hope she knows it doesn't go unnoticed.  I know how much those Gluten Free snacks are and I hope she realizes how much we appreciate the fact that she has them in the cupboard. And usually, she is holding or feeding one of my kids, so that I can have a meal while it's hot. I've given up arguing with her:) And even more importantly, I appreciate the lack of judgment that Porter might only have pretzels and fruit for supper some nights. Never have I felt "she thinks I'm a bad mother". Not once.

And I remember when we found out Porter had autism. She immersed herself in books and even attended workshops so she could learn more about how to help our boy! She is so proud of him and Ruby and I can't really describe the feeling it gives me when I see the way she ( and Pepe too) look at our children.

And now, let me turn to Pepe. I thank this man first and foremost for being the wonderful husband to Barb and father to Mark. Kids learn from what they see. Mark grew up with the finest example from both of his parents and I will be forever grateful to both of them for that. Pepe is also the man we call if anything is broken or needs "tweaking" in our home. He and Mark amaze me with how they know how to fix stuff. Mark can do a lot of it himself ( because he learned from the best ) but when it is a bigger job sometimes we call in the big guns ! (A.K.A. Pepe) .

Pepe was also a big help when Mark broke his leg and took Mark to Charlottetown for check ups. And if it wasn't for Pepe, I would have used up all my sick days at work by now. Pepe is "semi- retired" so anytime the kids are sick or the center is closed Pepe is there! I hope he knows how very much we appreciate that. (I want to add a shout out to Auntie Robyn here too because she has been there so many times for us as well!)

I was grateful enough when it was just Mark and I for their random acts of kindness. But now, our family has grown. We have two little people that we are lucky enough to take care of...and well,  sometimes it's hard. I feel like Nana and Pepe have an uncanny ability to know when Mark or I or both of us, are feeling overwhelmed. They will just randomly call and say " we want the kids for the night". Porter and Ruby each have their own rooms at their house! Complete with extra clothes and pampers so we don't usually have to pack anything. And keeping our kids isn't always easy. But they would never utter the words " they were really busy..or they wore me out today" or anything but "they were great kids, couldn't ask for better".

I'm not sure if you know the statistics for marriages in families who have kids with autism, 4 out of 5 end in divorce. YIKES! That's scary. I know I certainly don't want to turn into Ross Gellar! But all joking aside, these people help keep us together. Those nights without the kids help us remember why we fell in love in the first place.

Last week I had surgery to FINALLY repair a hernia I have been sporting and without a question, Nana and Pepe were there. Nana is back to working full time hours and still, without question, she got up in the middle of the night to feed our girl Miss Ruby ( who is STILL not sleeping through the night). They worked as a team to get our kids packed and ready for school each day and on the weekend when Mark was working and I was unable to be alone with the kids...there they were. And Porter even got to have a special day with Nana at the pool!

I know what you're thinking..wow, they are lucky to have them! And my answer to that is, darn right we are. We really are.

I really could write all day with how much I love and respect these people. I could write all day about how honored I am to be a part of this family. I could write a thousand thank you's and it wouldn't be enough. I could never thank them for everything they have done but let me just name a few things...

Thank you for:

 Smiles and hugs. Moving us! Painting. Building our fence. All the suppers I didn't have to cook. Maternity clothes from the States. Clothes for the kids from everywhere:) Loving our children. Buying safety locks. Stocking up on Gluten Free Snacks. Sleepovers. Sleepovers. Did I mention Sleepovers? Kind words. Accepting spirits. Advice. Listening. Putting up with my craziness. Holiday Suppers! Supporting our decisions. Always having fruit in the fridge. Cutting our grass when Mark couldn't. Playing with our kids. Giving Mark time off for appointments. Bumblebee videos! Toys and books. And most importantly, Love, the unconditional kind.

We love you.

Raelene, Mark ( Porter & Ruby )
xoxoxoxo

Special Memories

It is shameful how long it has been since my last post. The funny thing is I have about 5 different posts started but none that I have actually finished ....way to keep up my New Year's resolution! A touch of writer's block perhaps...actually no, it's not really that, it's more about deciding whether I want to share some of the stuff I have been writing about. You know what I'm talking about...I'm sure you have all written that Facebook status that you think is so incredibly clever and witty, only to delete it before you post thinking to yourself " I can't write that" !!!

Another one of my resolutions...stop second guessing myself. So far, I'm off to a great start with my resolutions! 

But there is something very important that I wanted to write about that I am a few days late getting to...in my defense, I was having surgery, so I guess that is a good reason. ( I'll talk more about that later.)

Jan 16th marked seven years without my mom. It's strange because it gets easier and harder at the same time. One of the hardest things is knowing that Porter and Ruby never got to meet my mom and even though they did meet my dad, they will not remember him. 

So it is up to me to keep their memories alive. So in honor of my mom's anniversary, I'll share this special memory.

I can remember being about 7 years old. We had moved to PEI from Nova Scotia and we were staying with my Nan "until we found a place". I put that in quotations because I'm sure we ended up staying there for years which was fine with me, it was there that I had most of the best memories of my childhood.

 I was the typical child who didn't want to go to bed at my bedtime and I was forever asking my mom to read me a story. Then one night, I'm not sure why, my mom said she would tell me a story instead...and there it began. She must have regretted that big time because I got hooked! I remember my nightly pleas became "TELL me a story !" I don't remember all of them exactly, but her stories were always about a little boy or girl who had to overcome some obstacle and of course there was always a happy ending! 

And then she would turn my pillow over to the cool side, lift up my hair, lay my head back down and kiss my forehead good night. 

So simple, but one of the best memories I have.  I certainly didn't have a perfect childhood, but I always knew I was loved.

Love and miss you Mom. xo