I'm never sure what to post on these days, but I always feel a little extra pressure to post something! I thought about sharing some early signs of autism, or some good books I have read , but then I thought if I could go back in time when I first heard the words " classic autism - on the severe end" what would I want to know?
Well, one thing I would tell myself is that this autism thing...it's not so bad. I feared it most when I was pregnant with Porter. I mean I spent hours and hours reading about it online. Weird, I know. Funny how a mom just knows. But honestly, it has really grown on me. Now I won't lie and say it's the best thing ever! I mean, come on, because of autism my boy can't tell me what he needs to tell me, and for that, I will always say autism can a bit of a jerk. But really, truly, it has some perks too. Let me share my Top 5!
1. Because of autism, my boy can't be bought. You could take this kid to Disneyland and I'm pretty sure he would be more excited about the popsicle you buy him at one of the canteens there, then he would be about anything else. At Christmas, we could easily give him the best Christmas ever for about 5 bucks. He just doesn't care about material stuff at all. I love that about him. It is a constant reminder of what is really important in this life and I am grateful for it.
2. Because of autism, Porter doesn't know how to fake it. If he smiles at you, it's not because he is doing what is socially expected when you greet someone, it's because he is 100% happy to see you. He has never faked anything a day in his life. He is exactly who he is , all of the time. There is something so incredibly beautiful about that. It fills me up.
3. He is wonderfully odd. I mean this kid dances to the beat of his own drum. Sometimes I just watch him and think how much I would love to get into his mind for just one day. He doesn't think the same way as we do, and that is awesome. Some of the greatest inventions in life exist because someone dared to think outside the box. I tell you this boy , he's outside the box. Today for example, he was eating popcorn and decided he wanted to have the bag at eye level, so this is what happened.
He put the chair on top of the table so the bag could be even with his arm reach. I know it isn't the theory of relativity or anything but he is always problem solving in ways I would never think of myself.
And then there are his "creations ", I can't count the number of times I have arrived to a scene like this. Most of it involves balance. Somewhat odd, but simply awesome. I wonder what it all means. Hmmm.
4. Because of autism, Porter has made me appreciate the little things. When I imagined being a mom I pictured all the milestones my children would reach, and I still do...but I had no idea the joy I would get from the simplest of things. Not that long ago I asked Porter to " go get the ketchup" off the counter and I pointed to it. He followed my point and went and got it. Mark and I looked at each other and our eyes lit up! This would have been so hard for him in the not so distant past...but he got it. Little things are BIG things to us now.
5. Because of autism, my boy makes us laugh! I mean last week the Mormans came to the door and here comes Porter around the corner, completely naked! So incredibly inappropriate, but darn it, it's funny too! I mean come on, imagine their faces! And Porter didn't have a care in the world, just nonchalantly saunters on by. I'm sure I won't be laughing if he is still doing that in 10 years, but for now, it's funny. He makes us laugh all the time. And not just by streaking! The kid just does funny stuff. I mean, holding your belly because it hurts from laughing kind of funny stuff.
I know I said I would give you my Top 5, but I just thought of one more. He has made me stronger. I think every mom can say that motherhood has made them stronger, but autism, it gives you a unique kind of strength. It has made me reach deep. It was my biggest fear when I was pregnant.
And now, here I am.
Here I am, telling you all the reasons I love autism. Who knew?
