Merry Christmas! ( Yes, I know I'm a little late:)

Another joyous festivus season is behind us ( those of you who are not Seinfeld fans won't get that). No, I really do love Christmas, most of it. I love being an Elementary School teacher at Christmas. Yes, they're excited , hard to focus and you can pretty much throw your lesson plans out the window...but to be part of that excitement is pretty amazing. The innocence is quite beautiful really.

Here at home, Christmas brings with it a mixed bag of emotions. It always has and maybe it always will...and that's okay.

This year, my uncle Leroy passed away less than a week before Christmas. I felt so sad for my dear Grammy who lost yet another son, way too early. I did have many signs that our loved ones live on beyond this Earth, including finding an old Christmas card from my Dad on the very morning of my Uncle's funeral. Yep, that happened, two days before Christmas.  Also, I received a gift that felt like in some way was from my Dad. It really made me feel his presence on Christmas Day ( thank you Aunt Gail:). And if you pay attention to signs and are really open to them, you will find them everywhere. Like this one:

Porter was OBSESSED with these ornaments this year. They are so very precious to me and apparently, him as well.  I believe my Aunt Lynda made these ornaments in the early 80's for everyone in my mom's family. They were always on our Christmas tree growing up and when Mom passed away I asked Lisa if she minded if I took Mom's bell. They always make me happy/sad when I put them on the tree. But this year, Porter took a real liking to them. He was forever walking around with both of them, banging them together as if he was making them chime. He even cuddled with them on his favorite chair. Mom is always here, I know she is.

       Seriously look at that face, pure joy! Hard not to find some Christmas spirit looking at that sweet smile!


But honestly, Porter could care less about Christmas. In fact, give him a popsicle and those bells and Santa could come everyday! It makes me happy/sad. ( I guess I'm making that a word, maybe I should put a hyphen instead, happy-sad...hmmm) Ok, back to Christmas. He just doesn't get what all the excitement is about, he really doesn't.  When we sit, anxiously awaiting that burst of excitement when he opens a gift and it doesn't come, it is sad. It makes me sad. Sometimes I feel like autism has stolen so much more than his voice.

But he did enjoy a couple gifts this year. Santa brought him this play mat to drive all his cars and trains around. Not that long ago he would have wrapped it over his body and used it as a blanket. Christmas day he knew just what to do. Progress!

Miss Ruby is just starting to see what the fuss is all about. She was pretty excited when Santa brought her a crib for her baby and a sweet little baby carrier. Wow, Santa sure does know what Ruby likes!

                   She just loves her baby! It's so funny listening to her talk to her baby and be her "mom".


Later that day, we hosted all the Richard's here for Christmas. Luckily Mark's mom did most of the work because I know this may come as a shock, but I'm not really that much of a chef! But it really was great seeing everyone and not having to worry about what my kids were into, wait let me rephrase that, it was nice knowing that whatever mess they made was in our house, they're always into something:) Here are a few pics:

                                                     Barb, taking over my kitchen..thank God! :)

                                                       Yummy! Everyone enjoying a beautiful meal.

                                          
                                                         I wonder what was on TV?? And why is everyone standing? haha



        All in all , it really was a lovely Christmas. Just happy-sad. More happy though, definitely. I hope all of you reading had a lovely Christmas too! Here's hoping 2014 is good to you!

xo

Brothers and Sisters

Dear Ruby,

There will be many days you will doubt your brother's love for you. I could share some stories about your Aunt Lisa and how she loved to hide in my closet at night or pretend that she wasn't really my sister because the aliens had come and taken my real sister...yes, many days where I didn't feel that "sisterly love". But when the chips were down, she was there. She's my sister and of course she loves me. She has to:)

Your brother doesn't quite understand how to play with you just yet and it is hard for him to tell you how much he loves you. You on the other hand, are relentless in your pursuit to make him your best friend. You keep trying. You never give up. It's beautiful to watch you, your heart so pure, so open and forgiving. It's easy to see how much you love him.

Last week, Porter did something that proved how he feels about you. I was at work finishing up some reports and you had just woken up from a lovely nap. Daddy was busy in the kitchen and didn't hear you crying...but Porter did. He ran to the kitchen and grabbed Daddy's hand and brought him to your room.

He loves you. You are his little sister. He has to:)

Miss Ruby turns 2!

So our Miss Ruby turned 2 on Oct 10th. We celebrated with family last weekend on Thanksgiving Monday which was the same day our little turkey was born. Wait, how did that happen on the calendar? Hmmm...must google that later.

I decided to actually pick a theme, other than my usual Dollarama themed party:) Ruby is a huge fan of the Backyardigans and the Bubble Guppies so we went to the Internet to see what we could find and ended up finding a great deal on Backyardigan party supplies.  Decision made!

Then I got to work making this cake:

Hahaha! Who am I kidding, I ordered it! Isn't it adorable? ( Tara's Cake Creations on Facebook if anyone is ever looking...)



Ruby arrived with Nana and Pepe who picked up both kids earlier that day so we could get the house ready.  Because let's face it.....

But I digress....



                         As I was saying, Ruby arrived with big brother Porter ready for a party!

Thanks Nana and Pepe for the adorable dress! She tried to put a barrette in her hair too but Ruby doesn't quite have enough hair to hold one in just yet:)


Ruby's eye went right to Pablo who came for the party! (p.s. she has been dragging this balloon around the house ever since. It even had to sleep on the floor next to her with it's own blanket and pillow the first two nights!)

           She loved having a room full of people she loves. Here are a few pics from the party:

                                        Happy Birthday sweet Ruby. I love you noes to toes. xo

New Learning Story!

I have shared a few of these before, I can't say enough about how much I love getting them ! Porter LOVES to scoop and pour just about anything! Honestly, he would sit and transfer water from cup to cup forever if we let him! He just loves watching it fall, I think he finds it very soothing.

This learning story shows him pouring a cupful of rocks down a slide, not surprisingly, one of his favorite activities when he is outside!

So happy that our boy LOVES his preschool! We can't believe he only has one more year left before he goes to big boy school! 

PSEUDOCHOLINESTERASE DEFICIENCY

So I don't make it a habit to post my personal medical history but I'm going to make an exception today. I just have a gut feeling this should be documented for future reference for myself and Porter and Ruby.

So most of you that read this blog know that I had a hernia repaired earlier this year. When I was pregnant with my giant beautiful baby Porter, he stretched my stomach muscles apart and unfortunately they did not go back together after he came out in May 2009. This caused a hernia that got worse over time. I had to wait until after Ruby was born to get the surgery to repair it ( as it would only get worse with each pregnancy) . I then had to find someone that was willing to do it and long story short, it was finally repaired in January of this year. Everything went well and I was super pleased with the results.

Shockingly, my muscles were very weak and it started to slowly come back out.  ( Yes, that is sarcasm). Anyway, I was on a waiting list to have it repaired again, this time they would put in a mesh to reinforce it .  I got a call last week, there was a cancellation and I could have my surgery Friday Aug 16th, which worked out perfectly, I wouldn't need to take any time off of work!

So fast forward to surgery day. I was scheduled to go in at 1pm. It's 1:15 and I'm still waiting and ready to eat my johnny shirt since I hadn't eaten since 8pm the night before. They tell me that my doctor is running behind and there is a possibility of it being cancelled. I'm super happy about that as you can imagine, but after fuming silently to myself for a few minutes,  I decide that if it gets cancelled there must be a reason...and to trust that it will all work out.

Shortly after 2pm my doctor appears, draws some lines on my lovely bulge and we're off to the races! Now here is where the story gets interesting...I remember waking up, well sort of, after the surgery and having someone yell at me. Then someone grabs my chin and I don't remember much else until a little later. Apparently they took my breathing tube out and realized that I could not breathe on my own, so they had to shoot me up with more anesthetic to put a breathing tube back down my throat. This anesthetic paralyzes you, every bit of you, including your lungs.

 I don't know exactly how much longer after they administered the second round of anesthetic, but I estimate it was between 4 and 5 pm  that I am fully and completely awake but unable to move any part of my body. A machine is breathing for me but it is not enough! Or it certainly does not feel like it is enough. I count 6 seconds and I get the tiniest burst of air.  I count again 1, 2, 3 , 4 , 5, 6 ...puff...there it comes. BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH! IT'S NOT ENOUGH!! I CAN'T BREATHE! I CAN'T BREATHE!! (Sorry for all the yelling, but caps lock doesn't even begin to express the panic that is going on in my head !! ) I am trying with all my might to move any part of my body. Nothing.

Then I start to think. "Oh my God, I'm dead..is this death?" Am I stuck in pergatory? In my head I am saying "Mom, Dad if you are here...help me! HELP ME!!!!!!" Nobody appears so I start praying and telling God that I need to be on this Earth and He needs to help me move my body so I can tell someone that I cannot breathe ! I'm not sure how much time passes, I hear the nurse calling my name and speaking to the other nurse " I've given her another sedative but she is still not sleeping". OF COURSE I CAN'T SLEEP!!! Honestly, as I type this,  my heart is pounding just thinking of the terror I felt. Then I hear Mark, he is there. He is asking how long I will be like this. They suspect it will be most of the night and tell him to go and come back in the morning. Just when I think I cannot panic anymore, it gets worse. I am screaming in my head but nothing is coming out. I am trying to communicate telepathically to Mark but it's not working. Mark said he left around 7pm. All I can think is there is no way I will survive the whole night like this. The little bursts of air I am getting surely can't be enough to keep me alive all night. I will die. Or I will get brain damage. And there is nothing I can do but sit here and wait.

Then some time after, a glimmer of hope, I can move my tongue. But just a little. I start moving it in and out which in hindsight must have looked ridiculous. Like a lizard or something. But in my head I think, ok, if they see me moving my tongue like this they will realize I am in distress and give me more air!  A nurse comes in and I try so hard to move and I think my hand twitched. She calls another nurse and and says "perhaps we should give her another sedative, I don't like this twitching". Then more panic sets in, because I have no idea why I am paralyzed so in my head, maybe it is the sedative? So I stop. No more lizard tongue. I wait. I panic and wait. I talk to God. I think of Porter and Ruby and Mark. I pray. I am crying in my head but there are no tears. I count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 puff.

Then finally at 9:45 pm , I can move my arm. The nurse comes in. I can't open my eyes or do anything else but I can move my right arm. I motion that I need a pen to write down something. She gets a pad and I write down that I can't breathe. She calls another nurse in and I write it again, I can't breathe, take this tube out! She gets the doctor and thank God, they take it out. I cough up a whack of phlegm and then there it is...sweet glorious AIR! I can breathe, I can breathe! They put an oxygen mask on my face and more AIR! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Then slowly my body starts to wake up, my eyes are still shut but I can feel my feet and eventually everything. I cry, I hold back the ugly cry.  I can't describe how grateful I am.

I have the mask on and my eyes are still shut but I feel the need to keep writing on that pad. I tell them that I thought I was dying and that I am so grateful to be alive. They explain what they think happened. It's called pseudocholinestrase deficiency. I have read a few different websites but this one sums it up well.

http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/pseudocholinesterase-deficiency

I am getting bloodwork to confirm that this is indeed what I have but it is also hereditary so I just felt I should post it here. We will have Ruby and Porter checked as well, but even if it comes back negative for them, I want this to be in print so they can be aware that this could happen in their future, after all, I have had surgeries before and have never had a reaction like this??

I also read on a different website that someone with this deficiency should never use cocaine as they could go into cardiac arrest. PORTER AND RUBY, I pray that you will have the wisdom to never try such a dangerous drug, or any drug for that matter, but PLEASE do not risk your life!

I also can't help but think that this may be a piece of the puzzle in understanding Porter's autism. If you are deficient in this enzyme you cannot break down certain toxins well. There is an abundance of research that suggests that people with autism have more toxins in their body, they are unable to get rid of them like the typical person. This enzyme is also believed to be involved with nerve signals. NERVE SIGNALS! There are some wires that are not connected properly in Porter's brain. They stop him from speaking.  Could this be part of the reason?

Anyway, I will get the results of the test and then go from there. I believe everything happens for a reason. I hope this day of terror will turn into something that can help my boy.

Now, take a deep breath...you feel that? That is air running through your lungs. Be grateful. 

Remembering Dad

This will appear in the Journal today. I thought I would share it here as well. Dad would have been so proud. Thank you sweet Norma for your beautiful words and more importantly , your beautiful heart that loved my Dad so very much. We are eternally grateful for the joy you brought to his life! xo

                               ~ARSENAULT~                     

                          JOSEPH RAYMOND “Ray” ARSENAULT

                  July 28, 1948 – July 17, 2012

Without a good-bye to those he loved, or to those who loved him, Joseph Raymond “Ray” Arsenault, Charlottetown, departed this world on July 17, 2012.  Taken by a massive heart attack just eleven days prior to his 64^th birthday, Ray was born on July 28, 1948 in Summerside, PEI to Melvin and Lorraine (Richard) Arsenault of Borden, PEI.  He was the oldest of seven children (Robert, LeRoy, John Mark, Garth, Gail, and Roger).  Ray was predeceased by his father, Melvin, and his brother, Robert.

Ray received his education at Borden and Prince County Vocational High School prior to entering the Royal Canadian Navy in April, 1965.  He served with the Navy for 25 years, taking early discharge in April 1990.  During his naval career, he was based out of CFB Halifax, where he served as a marine engineer aboard such combatant ships as HMCS Saguenay and HMCS Fraser.   Following retirement from the Navy, Ray instructed Fire and Flood Courses for the military – a job he held for five years.  During that time, he returned to PEI to take up residence.  In 1996, he commenced employment with the Charlottetown Airport Authority, where he diligently served as Core Commissioner until several hours before his passing.  In that capacity, he thoroughly enjoyed meeting the travelling public.

In 1970, Ray married Marlene MacNeill, who blessed him with two beautiful daughters, Lisa and Raelene (Mark Richard).  Ray and Marlene eventually chose different paths, but, always, “his girls” remained close at heart.  They, together with his four grandchildren (Tyler, Mackenzie, Porter and Ruby) were, truly, what brought a smile to his face.  Making weekly trips to Summerside to visit them; showing off their photos; remembering their special occasions; attending Tyler and Mackenzie’s special functions (hockey, soccer, gymnastics and graduations); engaging in floor play with little Porter; and trying to bring a smile to little Ruby (with whom he had but nine short months) brought “Grampie” much joy.

While Ray will be remembered by family and friends in many different ways, perhaps his greatest legacy will be the example he set through his countless random acts of kindness.  Never seeking recognition, Ray, in his quiet and unassuming way, was often silently finding ways to offer a helpful hand or to do a kind deed, whether it was saving his change each day for a charity, or buying an extra lobster to share with an elderly neighbor.  His family has been touched by the many stories relayed about his kind gestures.  To quote one of his co-workers:  “That man had a heart of gold.” 

Ray was, for the most part, a reserved and quiet man but for those of us who knew him well, we witnessed his “playful and wilder” side.  He delighted in seeing people stare, or making comments, about the red laces in his white sneakers; and in trying to pull a “fast one” on Graham; or in proclaiming himself as “Number One” to his siblings and his Commissioner buddies!   Ray suffered from a “love of cars” – always sporting a meticulously clean car that matched his meticulous attire.  His Chrysler “300” was his final love, and Reliable Motors parking lot must sense the loss of his almost daily visits.

Ray possessed many attributes, skills and abilities. He was conscientious, and a person whose work ethics were of high standards.  He had a remarkable ability to pay attention to detail, and was very meticulous.   Ray was a person who could put his hand to most anything – from woodworking, to fixing something mechanical, to making a meal.  He enjoyed Sudoko puzzles – the more challenging the puzzle, the more enjoyment he received.   He also delighted in “chilling out” and listening to “tunes”.  Ray, together with his partner of nine years, (Norma Yeo-Malone), particularly enjoyed theatre, concerts, dining out and going for drives/outings.  They especially loved “almost nightly” visits to his Mother’s for a game of dominoes, a game he had grown to love.

Although taken from us before we were ready, we are grateful for the memories he helped us create.  They are now our treasured keepsakes, and we ask, Dear Lord, that you treasure him. His largely attended funeral was held from St. Peter’s Church, in Seven Mile Bay, with Father Doug MacDonald officiating.  Interment took place in St. Peter’s Cemetery.

Lovingly remembered,
Raelene, Lisa, Lorraine, Norma and Families

We, the family of “Ray” Arsenault would like to thank the first responders; Moase Funeral Home; Graham MacPhail; Brad MacLennan; the many who attended Ray’s wake and funeral; Anne and Willard Leard (for offering their home between wakes); those who brought food, sent flowers, made mass offerings, and gave  donations to The Autism Society of PEI.  Special thanks to Father Doug MacDonald; the organist and choir; the readers, pallbearers and flowerbearers; and the CWL for catering to the reception following the funeral.   Your kindness and support were most appreciated.

East Point Family Trip!

Yikes, I almost forgot my password when I signed in here to write this post. It has been shamefully long since my last post.

 I could rhyme off a list of reasons why I haven't posted....but I won't bore you. Instead I'll share some pics of our very first ever family vacation. We decided not to venture too far.  Let's be real, it can be hard enough to get through the day here in our own home with access to almost everything we need, let alone in a new environment with only what we could fit in our trunk. And boy did we stuff that trunk! Mark's parents offered us their SUV and in hindsight, we should have taken them up on their offer....but I digress. 

Our destination was East Point! We rented a sweet little cottage for three nights. I figured 3 nights would be a good test run and we were lucky to get off season rates because we booked it for the very last weekend in June. We left late afternoon on Friday and arrived just after supper. It was absolutely worth the trip to see how excited they were when we got inside. They ran in and explored every room. The biggest hit?  A butter dish filled with Crokinole chips! Of course! Porter must have emptied and refilled that dish at least 25 times all the while squealing with delight. It was pouring rain outside so we spent the first night inside playing with Crokinole chips, clothespins and watching Bubble Guppies on the laptop. I know what you're thinking, boy do we know how to party! That night, I went to bed with that peaceful easy feeling that you get when you are staying in a place where you can hear the ocean from your room and there are needle point decorations on the walls!

That feeling was about to change. We brought Porter's new bed tent ( yes, he has a brand new tent for his new big boy bed!) but there still wasn't a whole lot of sleep that night. Ruby woke up twice and Porter was up for the day at 4am. I guess he just couldn't wait to get his hands on those Crokinole chips! The next night was even worse. Ruby woke up at 12:30 and we thought we would give her a minute in case she went back to sleep. Bad idea, BAD idea! Porter woke up and thought it was morning. I believe it was around 3 am when I had visions of packing everything up and flying the H. E. Double hockey sticks home. But we didn't. It was around 5:30am when he finally went back to sleep. I could yawn just thinking about it.


But besides being dreadfully sleepy, we did have a lot of fun. The weather cleared up and we got to the beach Saturday and Sunday. They were originally calling for rain so we were pretty pumped about being able to get outside at all. We had access to our very own private beach, there was just one other family sharing it with us that weekend. Porter loved it! He could run for miles and had a blast playing in the sand ! 

                                      I can't decide who had more fun playing in this hole... Porter or Mark?

Ruby, on the other hand wasn't a huge fan of the sand...this picture sums up how she felt about the beach.

She did enjoy sharing some cuddle time with Daddy on this community beach chair...

It was beautiful and we really did have a lovely time, but after three nights we were ready to come home. We were really just running out of things to do. We went to two different parks, the beach and we even hit up the East Point Lighthouse which was an adventure in itself! Have you ever climbed the stairs inside a lighthouse? STEEP!  I was never so glad to get out of a building in all my life! Did I mention I worry a lot? Yeah, that trip up those stairs with a 4 yr old and a 21 month old probably aged me 5 years. I am mostly kidding, but not completely. I did make sure we got a quick picture, but honestly we stayed at the top for as long as it took to click this pic ! 

 

Overall, first ever Richard family vacation was a success! Next time maybe we will actually leave the province? Although you really can't get much better than our Island in the summer:)


Chat soon:)