Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Remembering Dad


This will appear in the Journal today. I thought I would share it here as well. Dad would have been so proud. Thank you sweet Norma for your beautiful words and more importantly , your beautiful heart that loved my Dad so very much. We are eternally grateful for the joy you brought to his life! xo









                               ~ARSENAULT~                     
                          JOSEPH RAYMOND “Ray” ARSENAULT
                  July 28, 1948 – July 17, 2012



Without a good-bye to those he loved, or to those who loved him, Joseph Raymond “Ray” Arsenault, Charlottetown, departed this world on July 17, 2012.  Taken by a massive heart attack just eleven days prior to his 64th birthday, Ray was born on July 28, 1948 in Summerside, PEI to Melvin and Lorraine (Richard) Arsenault of Borden, PEI.  He was the oldest of seven children (Robert, LeRoy, John Mark, Garth, Gail, and Roger).  Ray was predeceased by his father, Melvin, and his brother, Robert.
Ray received his education at Borden and Prince County Vocational High School prior to entering the Royal Canadian Navy in April, 1965.  He served with the Navy for 25 years, taking early discharge in April 1990.  During his naval career, he was based out of CFB Halifax, where he served as a marine engineer aboard such combatant ships as HMCS Saguenay and HMCS Fraser.   Following retirement from the Navy, Ray instructed Fire and Flood Courses for the military – a job he held for five years.  During that time, he returned to PEI to take up residence.  In 1996, he commenced employment with the Charlottetown Airport Authority, where he diligently served as Core Commissioner until several hours before his passing.  In that capacity, he thoroughly enjoyed meeting the travelling public.

In 1970, Ray married Marlene MacNeill, who blessed him with two beautiful daughters, Lisa and Raelene (Mark Richard).  Ray and Marlene eventually chose different paths, but, always, “his girls” remained close at heart.  They, together with his four grandchildren (Tyler, Mackenzie, Porter and Ruby) were, truly, what brought a smile to his face.  Making weekly trips to Summerside to visit them; showing off their photos; remembering their special occasions; attending Tyler and Mackenzie’s special functions (hockey, soccer, gymnastics and graduations); engaging in floor play with little Porter; and trying to bring a smile to little Ruby (with whom he had but nine short months) brought “Grampie” much joy.

While Ray will be remembered by family and friends in many different ways, perhaps his greatest legacy will be the example he set through his countless random acts of kindness.  Never seeking recognition, Ray, in his quiet and unassuming way, was often silently finding ways to offer a helpful hand or to do a kind deed, whether it was saving his change each day for a charity, or buying an extra lobster to share with an elderly neighbor.  His family has been touched by the many stories relayed about his kind gestures.  To quote one of his co-workers:  “That man had a heart of gold.” 
Ray was, for the most part, a reserved and quiet man but for those of us who knew him well, we witnessed his “playful and wilder” side.  He delighted in seeing people stare, or making comments, about the red laces in his white sneakers; and in trying to pull a “fast one” on Graham; or in proclaiming himself as “Number One” to his siblings and his Commissioner buddies!   Ray suffered from a “love of cars” – always sporting a meticulously clean car that matched his meticulous attire.  His Chrysler “300” was his final love, and Reliable Motors parking lot must sense the loss of his almost daily visits.
Ray possessed many attributes, skills and abilities. He was conscientious, and a person whose work ethics were of high standards.  He had a remarkable ability to pay attention to detail, and was very meticulous.   Ray was a person who could put his hand to most anything – from woodworking, to fixing something mechanical, to making a meal.  He enjoyed Sudoko puzzles – the more challenging the puzzle, the more enjoyment he received.   He also delighted in “chilling out” and listening to “tunes”.  Ray, together with his partner of nine years, (Norma Yeo-Malone), particularly enjoyed theatre, concerts, dining out and going for drives/outings.  They especially loved “almost nightly” visits to his Mother’s for a game of dominoes, a game he had grown to love.
Although taken from us before we were ready, we are grateful for the memories he helped us create.  They are now our treasured keepsakes, and we ask, Dear Lord, that you treasure him. His largely attended funeral was held from St. Peter’s Church, in Seven Mile Bay, with Father Doug MacDonald officiating.  Interment took place in St. Peter’s Cemetery.
Lovingly remembered,
Raelene, Lisa, Lorraine, Norma and Families
We, the family of “Ray” Arsenault would like to thank the first responders; Moase Funeral Home; Graham MacPhail; Brad MacLennan; the many who attended Ray’s wake and funeral; Anne and Willard Leard (for offering their home between wakes); those who brought food, sent flowers, made mass offerings, and gave  donations to The Autism Society of PEI.  Special thanks to Father Doug MacDonald; the organist and choir; the readers, pallbearers and flowerbearers; and the CWL for catering to the reception following the funeral.   Your kindness and support were most appreciated.





Friday, 12 July 2013

East Point Family Trip!

Yikes, I almost forgot my password when I signed in here to write this post. It has been shamefully long since my last post.

 I could rhyme off a list of reasons why I haven't posted....but I won't bore you. Instead I'll share some pics of our very first ever family vacation. We decided not to venture too far.  Let's be real, it can be hard enough to get through the day here in our own home with access to almost everything we need, let alone in a new environment with only what we could fit in our trunk. And boy did we stuff that trunk! Mark's parents offered us their SUV and in hindsight, we should have taken them up on their offer....but I digress. 

Our destination was East Point! We rented a sweet little cottage for three nights. I figured 3 nights would be a good test run and we were lucky to get off season rates because we booked it for the very last weekend in June. We left late afternoon on Friday and arrived just after supper. It was absolutely worth the trip to see how excited they were when we got inside. They ran in and explored every room. The biggest hit?  A butter dish filled with Crokinole chips! Of course! Porter must have emptied and refilled that dish at least 25 times all the while squealing with delight. It was pouring rain outside so we spent the first night inside playing with Crokinole chips, clothespins and watching Bubble Guppies on the laptop. I know what you're thinking, boy do we know how to party! That night, I went to bed with that peaceful easy feeling that you get when you are staying in a place where you can hear the ocean from your room and there are needle point decorations on the walls!

That feeling was about to change. We brought Porter's new bed tent ( yes, he has a brand new tent for his new big boy bed!) but there still wasn't a whole lot of sleep that night. Ruby woke up twice and Porter was up for the day at 4am. I guess he just couldn't wait to get his hands on those Crokinole chips! The next night was even worse. Ruby woke up at 12:30 and we thought we would give her a minute in case she went back to sleep. Bad idea, BAD idea! Porter woke up and thought it was morning. I believe it was around 3 am when I had visions of packing everything up and flying the H. E. Double hockey sticks home. But we didn't. It was around 5:30am when he finally went back to sleep. I could yawn just thinking about it.


But besides being dreadfully sleepy, we did have a lot of fun. The weather cleared up and we got to the beach Saturday and Sunday. They were originally calling for rain so we were pretty pumped about being able to get outside at all. We had access to our very own private beach, there was just one other family sharing it with us that weekend. Porter loved it! He could run for miles and had a blast playing in the sand ! 






                                      I can't decide who had more fun playing in this hole... Porter or Mark?









Ruby, on the other hand wasn't a huge fan of the sand...this picture sums up how she felt about the beach.



She did enjoy sharing some cuddle time with Daddy on this community beach chair...




It was beautiful and we really did have a lovely time, but after three nights we were ready to come home. We were really just running out of things to do. We went to two different parks, the beach and we even hit up the East Point Lighthouse which was an adventure in itself! Have you ever climbed the stairs inside a lighthouse? STEEP!  I was never so glad to get out of a building in all my life! Did I mention I worry a lot? Yeah, that trip up those stairs with a 4 yr old and a 21 month old probably aged me 5 years. I am mostly kidding, but not completely. I did make sure we got a quick picture, but honestly we stayed at the top for as long as it took to click this pic ! 
 




Overall, first ever Richard family vacation was a success! Next time maybe we will actually leave the province? Although you really can't get much better than our Island in the summer:)


Chat soon:)





Saturday, 18 May 2013

Update from the Autism Sibling Study!

Here I am posting twice in the same week...that hasn't happened in awhile.

 I really can't explain why this blog has taken such a back seat lately, but my best guess is that it has a lot to do with the longer daylight hours ( which I LOVE so I'm not complaining ) . Bedtime for the kids has been later and later...which leaves less and less free time for Mama and Papa.

 BUT I have been meaning to share some news. Last month we took Miss Ruby for her 18 month check-up at the IWK. For anyone who doesn't know, Ruby is part of an Autism Sibling Study and we go for regular check-ups to see if she is showing any signs of autism.

It feels unsettling in some way to celebrate the fact that she is isn't showing any signs at all ( that is not the right word but I can't think of the perfect word to describe what it is we feel) . I guess it feels wrong in some strange way to be so very relieved that she isn't displaying any behavior that would be considered "autistic", like her big brother....does that make sense?

Anyway, that's a post for another day!

Back to our little trip!

Ruby was a great traveler. She enjoys the car , not quite as much as her brother, but if you give her snacks and some fun car tunes, she is good to go!

We arrived in Halifax before lunch so we could meet up with my Uncle Brian for lunch. I hope he doesn't mind me sharing his picture! We had a short, but lovely visit, which I'm sure my witty Uncle would say was all he could stand!






 After lunch we headed to the IWK Health Centre to the Autism Research Dept. This is our third visit so when we arrived, they knew us by name and seemed genuinely happy to see us!

And well, I don't like to brag, but they were quite impressed by our girl! This visit consisted of a parent interview and "playtime".  I say "playtime" in quotes, because all the activities were very much planned and organized but cleverly disguised as "playtime" so Ruby would be interested! There were tons of different activities, but let me share an example.  The researcher, Terry, would take a toy car and do what most toddlers do...drive it around the table and make "vroom, vroom" noises. Then she would hand the car to Ruby and see what she would do. Our Ruby is a master imitator ! She could vroom, vroom like nobody's business! Imitating is one area where children with autism can really struggle. And if you think about that for a second, you realize why language can be so difficult to learn for children with autism as well. Many children with autism simply do not imitate naturally...which is basically how we learn to talk!

But we are quite certain that talking will not be a challenge for our Miss Ruby. She has been talking up a storm around here. Her favorite word is NO, but it is quite funny how she says it when she really means business...she drags it out so it sounds a bit like a cat " Neeeeeooooooooooooowww"!  Every day she says something new and she is totally putting words together now! It is bittersweet to see her "pass" her brother. But I do know that she will be one of his best teachers. I can see it already.

Have a great weekend everyone! Bundle up, it's freezing out there!



Sunday, 12 May 2013

Happy Mother's Day!

Mother's day can bring me a mixed bag of emotions.....

This special little gift brought me pure joy!



Happy Mother's Day Everyone!








Tuesday, 2 April 2013

"Today you are You"






 I remember when I was pregnant with Porter and I became strangely obsessed with reading about autism ( yep, that is crazy but true). I remember thinking how hard it would be to have a child with autism and I remember asking God to spare me from such an outcome. I'm ashamed to write that, but it is my truth. Even now, if you google "autism" you can still find definitions that include words like    " devastating developmental disorder".

Devastating? Really?


 I can't speak for all parents of children with autism, because it is different for each and every one of us. And I'm not saying that there are not days that are beyond HARD or that there are not times that watching him trying to communicate breaks my heart in a way I never thought possible.  And there are still days that I can be overcome with grief for the boy he could be without autism....

But mostly, I am grateful.

I am grateful for this beautiful boy that has simply changed my life in the most beautiful, unexpected way.

Porter has taught me so much about life that I never would have learned if not for him being who he is,  ALL of him. He has a constant light that shines around him. Just spend a few minutes with him, you'll see what I mean. He takes the greatest joy out of the most simple things. A plum, a toy train, a swing, a rubber Goofy doll. These are the things that light up his day.

He continues to remind me to celebrate the small victories in life. They really are the ones that matter. I have found overwhelming feelings of gratitude in the most unexpected places. Like just the other day when Porter said "hi" without me prompting him. It's hard to put into words the joy moments like that give me, joy I would not know if not for the struggles we have faced.

And this boy, he makes me laugh all the time. Like yesterday, he was in the tub and very carefully  trying to put the bubbles back into the baby wash bottle. They kept popping , but he didn't give up....he must have tried with at least 25 bubbles before he simply moved on to something else.

And every now and then he does something so wonderfully odd...like this.



Yes, that is play-doh on top of his nachos. But it's the blankie that kills me, he has it draped around his head with a little piece stuck in his mouth that he chews on as he goes about his "work" of piling things on his plate:)

So very UNtypical. That's my boy:)

(p.s. I know his blankie looks disgusting, but I swear it's clean!)

I could write all day about how much I love this amazing kid and how much he has taught me about life. So I guess my point is, I don't think his autism is "devastating" at all...

I think he is perfectly perfect just as he is.

 Do I want him to be able to communicate better? Of course!

 Do I want him to have a friend to play and explore with as he grows up? Absolutely!

Do I want him to be able to play tag with his sister on a warm Spring day? I dream about it!

Do I want him to be able to have a job and some independence so I can leave this world knowing he will be okay? More than anything.

But do I want to change who he is? This beautiful, magnificient boy who dances to the beat of his own drum?

Never.


Happy World Autism Awareness Day!









Sunday, 24 March 2013

Hola!

So here it is almost 6 weeks after my last post! Ahhh! How did I let this happen??? Well, in my defense we all did have a bout of the stomach flu, good times, good times....then it was report card season and then we had to plan our trip to Mexico! ( When I say "we"  I mean Mark and I...we're not brave enough to take the kids..YET)

So was it paradise? Yep. I knew the minute we got there and they greeted us with a glass of champagne before we even checked in that it was going to be a good time! For anyone wondering, we stayed at the Dreams Resort in Tulum, Mexico. I can't say enough about this place. Absolutely magical.

Let me give you a rundown of our days...after sleeping THROUGH THE NIGHT we would awake around 7 each day. It was glorious! Then we would go for breakfast where we could eat whatever we wanted and not have to clean up any mess! And we could sit and talk to each other without anyone needing anything, it was so delightful.

After breakfast we would usually go back to our beautiful room and get ready for the beach. Yes, you could easily go to the beach at 8 am because it was HOT 24 hours a day! Some days Mark went kiteboarding or diving and those days I would just sit on the beach and read a book or people watch. One of the books I read was " Seriously..I'm kidding " by Ellen Degeneres. I found myself in full on fits of laughter all by myself. Not sure why I didn't make any new friends? Hmm. But seriously,  Ellen and I could be best of friends. We really could. Love her.

Then we would decide where to go for lunch, where again, someone else would feed us and clean up our mess! Sometimes we would have an afternoon siesta and then hit up the beach or pool again whilst sipping on drinkie drinks. Ok, anyone wanting to punch me yet?

After spending a leisurely day floating in the water or lounging on beach chairs, we would shower and clean up our sandy selves. Next came the big decision on where to eat dinner . At night we picked the fancier restaurants where we were given top-notch service! I'm talking service where someone pulls out your chair for you and places a napkin on your lap! AND the moment you finish your drink someone magically appears to refill it! Yeah, it was rough.

Then we would try to stay awake for the nightly entertainment which was pretty impressive I must say! We missed the fire show and magic night but saw some pretty amazing dancers!

I can't put into words what a lovely time we had, it really was a beautiful time in a very beautiful place. There were moments I was overcome with my surroundings. You can't help but feel like you are experiencing a little piece of heaven right on Earth.

But there were moments I missed Porter and Ruby so badly it hurt. In fact by Day 4,  I considered asking strangers if I could hold their babies. Just for second, just to smell their little heads. So despite being in paradise,  I was glad to be on our way home the next day. Not only did I get to see my babies, but I came home to a spotless house with dinner in the fridge for the next day. Seriously, these people, TOP SHELF!  We can't thank Nana and Pepe enough for taking care of our little mess makers while we were away. Special thanks to Auntie Robyn for watching Miss Ruby during the afternoons and for giving her extra cuddles and kisses when she wasn't feeling very good.

Here are a few pics from our trip!


                                                       Ahhh, Serenity now....


                                                       Pool with swim up bar



                                                           View from our room


     
Mark was able to get out kiteboarding a couple days, not quite enough wind for him though..



The beach at a place called "Excaret", we spent one full day here ..it was really beautiful.



Excaret had so many different animals and birds to see...when I saw this guy I immediately broke into the Three's Company Theme song...."come and knock on my door"....he he he



                                          
                                                Our last night..I'm happy/sad to leave....



This was Ruby trying on my sunhat the night before we left...you see why I missed home so much? She pulls it off well don't you think?

And I don't have a picture of it, but the day after we got home I was cuddled up with Porter on the couch. He took his finger and ran it on the outline of my cheek. Then he planted his nose right on my cheek and sniffed until I thought he was going to sniff a piece of my cheek right up his nose! This is his new thing, I know it's a little odd, but it is absolutely priceless. I think it's his way of saying he missed me.

Have a great week everyone!


 








Thursday, 14 February 2013

Happy Valentine's Day!





The most amazing thing happened today....today of all days.

This morning Mark was eating his cereal at the table and Porter came along touched his back and said " I Wub You". No prompts. He said it ALL by himself.

Happy Valentine's Day indeed.
 
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