Random Acts of Kindness

At the beginning of the summer I made a nice to-do list of all the things I wanted to accomplish this summer. I find myself making lots of lists lately, it's just my reality, if I don't mark it down, it doesn't get done. I read once that you have an 80% better chance of achieving your goals if you mark them down. Ok, now I'm babbling...it's what I do.

SO the list was really two lists, one for things I wanted to get done around the house and the other was a list of fun things I wanted to do this summer.

On that list was the carnival! For various reasons, we haven't been since Ruby was born..so I thought we should make it a point to get there this year. Well , I got to cross it off my list when I found out there wasn't going to be any carnival this year! Instead this year they had the "Lobster Festival", which when I think about it,  most certainly tops the carnival which let's face it, is sketchy at best!

So as part of the festival they had various activities going on in our big metropolis all week. Last Friday they had giant bouncy houses, a huge sandpit with castles made by Maurice Bernard (  very talented local artist ) and a big tent with live music all set up down at the boardwalk.

SO we thought, let's give it whirl! 

When we drove up and Porter caught sight of the castles, I thought he might flap right out of the car he was so excited. It was everything to hold him back until we got there.

Then the catch.

Line-ups.

Of course there HAS to be line-ups, I teach elementary school, I get it, if there were no line ups, well, I am quite aware of the chaos that would ensue. But my boy is not a fan of line ups, it's not so much the lining up, but more the WAITING! He hates it. I mean, he really hates it.

They were letting about 6-7 kids in at a time. But of course as soon as I let go of Porter's hand he darted in the castle before his turn. This kid is quick, quick I tell ya! So I send Mark in there to get him because I am wearing a dress and thought I'd spare the spectators of a front row view of my behind. So it took a few minutes but Mark gets him out and of course Porter took it very well ( yes, that's sarcasm). At this point Porter is having a mini meltdown and then the next 7 kids are allowed in, and Miss Ruby was in line, so she got to go in.

So now Porter is crying and trying to break free of our grasp so he can go in too...but it's not his turn. He took his turn when it actually wasn't his turn :)

And then a random act of kindness.

An old friend that I went to school with was there with her 4 beautiful children. She offered to have her son come out so that Porter could go in.  I didn't let her do that of course, but I tell you, her kindness won't be forgotten.  And she didn't make me feel like it was because Porter had autism either, she said " well, I just thought he might like to go in with Ruby".  I wanted to hug her. I wanted to say thank you..thank you for not looking away, or silently judging me, or pitying me.

We didn't stay much longer, we went over to the sand where I had a small panic attack as I watched Porter running over the hills,  steps away from destroying all of Maurice Bernard's amazing sand castle art! Nooooooo!  Thank God I caught him in time!

And that's when we decided to go home :)

We gave it a whirl!

So old friend, thank you for offering to help. It meant so very much to me. I couldn't say this to you that day because I would have cried, but I thought you should know.

Treasured Memories

Yesterday marked the second anniversary of my Dad's passing. I said each year that I would share a memory...I guess it's my way of keeping him alive. Porter and Ruby will likely not remember their Grampy, but this way, they may feel they know him in some way.

So about 10 years ago Lisa and I were visiting Dad at his apartment.  I'm not sure how we came across it, but we found a binder filled with letters, cards and drawings that Lisa and I had sent him throughout our childhood. This binder stayed with Dad for more than 30 years. I remember how it touched me. And now, what a treasure indeed.

There were several letters and cards, but here are a couple of my favorites:

I thought I was pretty clever using pictures for words and saying " see if you can figure this out"...haha. That sentence was actually written in silver marker, remember those markers that you used to have to shake before they would work? What ever happened to those?


And there were lots of letters like this one written Feb 4th, 1986.  I would have been 10 years old:

Unless you have a magnifying glass, you probably can't read that. So let me share ( I'll keep the spelling mistakes in so it is completely authentic):

"Dear Dad,

I usually start with "hi, how are you, fine I hope" so I won't because I think that is getting boring. So I'll start with How's the weather? Are's is ok I guess. It's always cold in the morning when I walk to school, but I'm usually warm because I'm dressed warm. Well I hope you are doing o.k. I know you are not going to like what I'm saying next but I'm just trying to start a conversation. The kittens are doing great, there both lying on the tub chair licking each other. ( This is an inside joke because my Dad hated cats, although I think he secretly liked them:)  My room stays pretty neat now.  School is doing fine. Nanny MacNeill is doing fine too. I'm in a play tomorrow called Cinderella, it's in french. I'm a stupid stepsister but I do have alot of lines. Well I'm absentminded of what to say so I better go. I used absentminded because I just learned it in school.

See ya soon

Love always, Raelene

I added " Don't mind my messy writing" and lots of hugs and kisses on the bottom:)


Isn't that a hoot? Every now and then I take the binder out and read through the letters and every single time, it fills my heart in a way I can't describe.

Thank you Dad.

xoxoxo

Project Lifesaver

Well, we finally did it.  We've been talking for months about getting Porter a GPS tracking bracelet through Project Lifesaver, but today we actually did it.  Those of you close to me probably remember Avonte Oquendo, the boy with autism from New York who tragically went missing from his school back in October. His body was later found  ( after more than a 3 month search ) along the East River.

It has been since then that we looked into Project Lifesaver. We knew Porter would not be a big fan of wearing this bracelet , so the original plan was to slowly get him used to the idea of wearing it by first wearing a plastic watch or bracelet and letting him keep it on longer and longer each day.  We went through quite a few different possibilities and of course he kept taking them off. So we basically decided that we should just go ahead and put it on.

If you're wondering what it looks like or how it works, I've taken the next paragraph directly from the website. ( if you want to learn more, click here . )

How it works

"Citizens enrolled in Project Lifesaver wear a small personal transmitter around the wrist or ankle that emits an individualized tracking signal. If an enrolled client goes missing, the caregiver notifies their local Project Lifesaver agency, and a trained emergency team responds to the wanderer’s area. Most who wander are found within a few miles from home, and search times have been reduced from hours and days to minutes. Recovery times for PLI clients average 30 minutes — 95% less time than standard operations."

I have been dreading putting in on Porter because this is a boy who has a lot of sensory issues and would gladly be naked 100% of the day because even his clothes drive him crazy! So we have been putting it off. Then on Canada Day we went to visit family at Marco Polo Land. It is like Disney Land for kids really, so much to do there! Anyway, we were at the park and Porter was having a blast running up and down the slide and then it happened. We turned our back for less than 5 seconds and he was gone. It was probably no longer than 30 seconds until we spotted him running like the wind, he had crossed one of the roads, passed a row of campers and was running down a hill through the trees. Thank you Lord.

So that was it. I called the next day.

So we had two special guests come see us today. Top shelf people. Porter wasn't in a great mood to begin with, but we gave him a popsicle and they put it on him while he was distracted. Nothing. He sat and ate his popsicle and maybe glanced at it once. Seriously???

But when the popsicle was gone he did get a little upset. We decided not to give him too much time to think about it. It was Ruby's nap time, so Mark took him for a drive. They went to the park, Wendy's for fries outside on the picnic table and then a walk on the boardwalk. Doesn't get much better than that! haha Later when Ruby woke up, we took a drive to Gateway Village and played at that park for awhile. He hasn't had a lot of time to really think about it, but he has taken our hand a few times today and put it on the bracelet. This means " take it off mom and dad!!!". I keep telling him that this is his special safety bracelet that stays on ( it literally has to be cut off to remove it).  Then at bedtime he got a little more upset and tugged at it for a couple minutes, but that's it. I'm not kidding myself that this is it, but so far, it's going a gazillion times better than I thought it would!

We may be frequenting many parks this week:)  Here are a few pics from today.

The boy loves a swing!

FRIES!!

Classic Porter! 

Close up of his new hardware!

I hope and pray that we will NEVER have to use it and it certainly isn't going to protect him from all of the potential dangers he could face, but it is a little more peace of mind.

Curly Sue!

Lately Miss Ruby has been cracking us up with the funny things she is saying...this week I thought I might eat her when she came out with this one morning while shaking her head:

" Mommy look...my hair....it wiggles!"

Yes that's right our girl is finally getting some hair. I've started to call her " Curly Sue" on occasion.


You may recall how much hair she had last summer...

My what a difference a year makes....check out her curly locks now!

I think it may almost be time for a trip to Auntie Lisa's hair shop!

Porter turns 5!!!

Just writing that title blows my mind. How can my boy be 5??  Wow, I remember so many people telling me that once you have kids time will go by so fast. Turns out, they're right. It seems like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital. Sigh.

I often find myself like most parents wishing time would slow down. But lately, this feeling has been overwhelming. Last week we took Porter to Kindergarten night and never have I wanted to step into a time machine more than at that moment.

He's not ready. I'm not ready.

I remember when we first got Porter's autism diagnosis, I thought .... well he is still only 2, we can work really hard and maybe he will catch up by the time he gets to Kindergarten.... you read these stories all the time. They give you hope and punch you in the gut at the same time.

But I'm learning. I'm learning not to compare. It  really is never a good idea in general. But when you have a child with special needs, it can be extra hard. You see all the other kids and everything they are doing and a familiar lump creeps up in your throat and can make you feel like you are getting the diagnosis all over again.

But when I don't compare him to anyone else but his magnificent self,  I am filled with gratefulness and pride. It wasn't that long ago that I was sitting on my kitchen floor with my dear friend Heather
 ( who happens to be a behavioral analyst who works with children with autism in Ontario ) and we must have worked for 2 hours trying to get him to sign "freezie". That is the thing about autism, without even knowing it, it makes you celebrate moments that are ordinary for everyone else, but extraordinary to you. ( he did it by the way:)

So my boy turned 5.

He has come so far. I am so very proud of him.

We celebrated his birthday with family and this year, we had a special guest. Porter's IBI tutor who we are so blessed to have in his life. She does photography on the side and agreed to come and take some pictures of his special day.  She captured him perfectly. She shared a sneak peek with us, but unfortunately they won't load up here , I'm guessing it is because I don't technically "own" the rights to these pictures yet. If you are on my FB, you can go to my profile and have a look.

In the meantime, my sister captured a few great shots with her phone. We were fortunate it was a nice day, remember that weekend when you didn't need a winter coat?



                                                                           Porter loves his swing!

                                                                         My personal favorite.....

                                                                  Ruby doo was having a great time too!

                                                 

Happy birthday my beautiful boy. I am so proud of you and can't wait to see everything you will learn in Kindergarten! You will be in the very best of hands :)

Remembering Nan

                                     Frances Mae MacNeill ( Holland)  - March 9th, 1919- March 26th, 1994


I couldn't let this day go by without a small tribute to such a fine lady, my Nan. Today marks the 20th anniversary of her death,  March 26th, 1994.

I think I have mentioned before that when we first moved back to the Island we stayed with my Nan for at least 2 years.  Nan was like a second mother to me. She and I had a special bond. She always knew just what to say and always made me feel special. I remember when I was sick I would stay with her during the day and she would give me this brass bell to ring when I needed her. And when I would ring it she would come running and say in a pretend English accent "you rang , me lady" or something close to that...I would giggle and I'm sure I must have drove her crazy ringing that bell, but she never let me know it. And she always seemed to have a fun game to play. I remember when she showed me how to make card houses using a deck of cards and I would sit on her living room floor for hours building the coolest card houses ever! Something about Nan's house made you feel better, taken care of. I can remember being in my late teens and still when I went to visit I'd get that peaceful, easy feeling as soon as I walked in the door.

Regretfully, I don't have a lot of pictures of my Nan but thought I'd share this one of Lisa and I and the story behind it , because it sums up the kind of person my Nan was.

The picture quality is poor but anyone who grew up in the 80's knows what Lisa and I are holding. Cabbage Patch Kids!! They were all the rage and they were a very hot item! After waiting what seemed like forever we finally got them! I think there was a sale on at The Met. All I remember is Mom holding the boxes out and saying " I got the last two girls"! AND we were pumped! While I stood there with a huge smile, taking in this incredible moment in my life Lisa was up and grabbed her favorite before I could say a word. Now you can't tell from the picture but my Cabbage Patch kid didn't come with those pony tails. She had short hair and as happy as I was to finally get my Cabbage Patch Kid, I kept looking at Lisa's doll and hers had this cute pony tail and I couldn't help but wish that I had picked the one with the pony tail first. Nan noticed this and said she could fix the problem. She went to her closet and just happened to have yellow yarn that matched almost perfectly to the hair on my doll's head. I can remember she spent hours in her rocking chair that night cutting and knotting each new strand of "hair" until my Cabbage Patch had two beautiful blonde pig tails! I was beyond thrilled with her new look!

That was my Nan. Always making things better.

Love and miss you,

xoxo

Avonte's Law

Had to share this update.

Change is happening.

http://www.autismspeaks.org/news/news-item/quotavonte039s-lawquot-looks-fund-tracking-devices-children-autism