Welcome to Holland

I came across this gem today. It was shared at one of our Professional Development days at school quite a few years ago, but the words spoke much louder to me today.

Enjoy!

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

                                      c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.


Isn't that a beautiful little story?

And I have no doubt that all parents feel like they went to "Holland" from time to time....  but it sure is a beautiful place with the most amazing people.


p.s. I don't find Holland slower paced at all!!! AND I don't know anybody who "brags" about Italy, they just talk about what a lovely place it is too:)


Chat soon,
Rae

Big Week!

 So last was a pretty big week for our boy! First, Porter's class went to see "The Lorax" at the movie theatre. When his teacher approached me about Porter going, I will admit I had my doubts.  Porter's not big on the sitting still stuff. But we both agreed it was a perfect time to try. I would drive him there and that way when we had to leave, I could just take him home. And it was a matinee so it was only going to cost a toonie for Porter to get in....I figured even if we stayed for 20 minutes, it wasn't like I was spending a fortune. Plus, the rest of his class was going, and darn it, he should too.

So we arrived and found our seats in the back with the rest of his class. It was about 10 minutes before the movie was due to start and we didn't have our popcorn and treats yet ( they were being delivered ). Porter didn't want to sit and he started making his signature "ticky ticky teeeeee" squeal sounds while trying to bust loose into the aisle. So thus began the workout of me picking him up and sitting him on my lap , him squirming out of my lap and repeat. This is when my heart starts to pound as I wonder what other parents are thinking. Part of me wants to stand up and say " he has autism, just so you know, it's very hard for him to sit still,  it's not that I am a bad mother". Or maybe they know he has special needs and they feel bad for me and that makes me want to stand up and say "hey, don't look at me with pity, my child is perfect just the way he is !" ( It's pretty clear, I have some issues I'm trying to work through huh? )

Anyway, the movie began and for a few minutes he thought it was pretty neat. There were cars zooming by on the screen and I'm sure he was captivated by their wheels. Then the glorious Kids Pack arrived, and that did it! Popcorn and skittles and juice with a straw! Enough to entertain him for practically the entire movie! Every now and then he would get out of his seat and play with his chair, but in his defense, he had never seen a chair that would bend like that! We ran out of food near the end and he was getting super restless. I decided that we were going to leave while things were still going well. By the time we got to the car the movie was letting out, so I say we pretty much made it the whole movie! Momma was proud to say the least.

But wait there's more! Last weekend Porter and Ruby had a sleepover at Nana and Pepe's. Nana tried putting him on the big potty and he peed! The past few weeks Porter has been showing more signs of readiness but we haven't had much luck on his little potty at all. In fact, before this week I couldn't even tell you the last time he went.

So the next day Mark and I thought we would try the BIG potty just for fun...and it worked! Let's just say that when he is on the big potty he needs to use his hands to balance and he doesn't get "distracted" by anything else. So needless to say, we were pumped! We gave him some candy and made a HUGE deal!  Well, looks like I will need to hit up the Superstore tomorrow because we are all out of rewards! I think we hit double digits of successful pees today! And it's only the first week!



Chat soon
Rae:)

Remember when?

This past week has seemed especially crazy...I guess that is why I have yet again neglected this blog. I always have the best of intentions to sit and write but the days get away from me, what with all the dishes and laundry and stuff...oh, can't forget those kids I have. They seem to take a bit of my time as well. he he 

Anyway, when I have weeks like this I find myself thinking back to the days before kids. And please, before I go any further, I wouldn't trade my life for ANYTHING, but every mother out there knows just what I'm talkin' bout. Every now and then you fantasize about a different time not so long ago. A time when Mark and I were DINKS ( double income no kids ) ahhhh...let me reminisce ( this is where the screen goes blurry and we go back in time).

I remember the days when.....

I could walk on the floor bare feet and not get food stuck to my feet.

I could sleep.

I could actually have a conversation on the phone without saying " sorry, could you hang on for a second while I get my kid off the counter".

I could go into the kitchen and actually remember why I went in there!

When I was at a hotel I'd worry I would sleep THROUGH breakfast, now I'm usually sitting waiting for it to start!

I didn't spend more than our mortgage payment at the Superstore.

I could sleep.

I could eat supper when it was hot!

Poop was not such a huge part of my life.

I could go rent a movie and watch the whole thing!

I wouldn't find Thomas the Train in my bed. 

I could go for a drive after 7pm.

I could sleep.

I did laundry ONCE a week!

I  could wear a fitted t-shirt. Lord don't get me started on this one....

I could watch those sappy commercials without bawling my fool head off.

I didn't want to pass out at 8pm from pure exhaustion.

I could sleep. I realize I keep mentioning that one, but it's a BIG one, HUGE.

I could finish a whole sentence without saying " wait, what was I just saying?" ( a direct result of above mentioned sleep deprivation)

My house was clean for more than 5 minutes.

I didn't have to cook 3 different meals at suppertime. Yes I know, that is MY fault which brings me to the next one....

I didn't live with guilt, constant guilt.

The toilet would not be plugged with a toothbrush and a toy boat.

I did not worry constantly. I mean every second. Right now I'm worrying about them. Really, my mind is wandering as I type.

Ahhh...it was a different time.



But now I get to see these faces everyday...

I might just be the luckiest person alive.

The love. It's all consuming. Frig, I love them....and my crazy beautiful life.

Rae:)

Pictures of Playtime!

 Those of you that have been following along know that last month Porter started preschool. Every Monday his teacher sends us an email with some "action shots" of things Porter is working on. I can't share the pictures of the other kids but this one was all about our boy! 

It made me happy - cry.

I had no idea how important this stuff is to parents until I became a mom.

We were super pumped that he was engaging in pretend play....but feeding a baby! Well, that almost sent me right over the edge! And you know,  he really has started to pay more attention to Ruby lately. She is relentless in her efforts to make him her friend. Every now and then, he stops and looks at her and sometimes a little smile appears on his handsome face. Soon enough they will be best buds. I can't wait.

Chat soon
Rae:)

Dear Time, Slow down!

I was watching my girl navigate through her little world today and even though I thought I was prepared for time to fly by quickly, I just couldn't believe how fast it is going!

                          Here she is with her Grampy when she was just brand new!



                    And here she is in her very first photo shoot ! ( She's around 6.5 months here)

Here is one more that was taken on Mother's Day ( the curious monkey was too busy looking around to smile for her photo shoot and she has a pretty awesome smile that deserves to be shared!)

I'm starting to want to savor her, like the last piece of chocolate in the box. I find myself snuggling into her little wee neck and squeezing her to bits! And I'm having mixed emotions when she does something new,  I hear myself saying "Slow Down Little Red Ruby"! ( that's her new nickname thanks to my friend Crystal:)

Sigh.


I just love her nose to toes!

Have a great weekend everyone!